Thoughts, rants and inspiration

Time is running out..

Gena Ng — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 18:05:54 +0000

Internship has ended and I feel the sense of urgency to get a job! Of course I would love to do something that probably has got to do with my diploma, but it seemed quite impossible after a few tries. I have my reasons and I don’t think it’s really wise to post it up.

During this entire week of searching of jobs, I have really difficulty choosing something I really want to do. You see, I want to continue being active in bands, spend time with my friends and family, and practice often! But from what I see of those jobs that I’ve been interviewed for, it seems quite impossible. And not to speak of having a more stable income.. I just need to press on and keep ‘hunting’ for the best out of everything.

Now that school’s coming to an end, I realized that I have tons of reports/essays to complete! All has to be completed before the end of the month! This is really risky because I don’t wish to be too caught up by job hunting that I neglect my studies. I do want to graduate ASAP. Have to pull up my socks and complete all these as soon as possible.

Somehow I wish I’ll be lucky enough, to find a job that suits myself, & to complete all my school assignments on time!

For the missing-in-action..

Gena Ng — Tue, 27 Dec 2011 10:04:06 +0000

Well, I guess by the updates of my web you are able to tell that I actually did not have anytime to blog. I must TRCC is indeed a great family to be in! I’ve learned so much from every single staff, and their encouragements for me to strive and work hard pushes me to go beyond my limits and learn how it is like to work and be efficient. Being an intern makes me learn and experience things that I never thought I will be able to do, and how is it like to be working.

Just came back from the recent Taiwan – Taipei trip with NTUSB and it was awesome. With a different band, a different conductor, and different environment.. It’s quite refreshing and new to me to travel with a band that I’m not really very familiar in. But despite all these, I have to say that the company was awesome. Hanging out with the members was great fun, and never-ending laughter. I never knew I would be able to speak and hang out with people that I’m not really familiar with, and to travel in a foreign place! Exploring around the city was fun and exciting. No fear at all. No restrictions. I want to do that again! I must really thank Daddy & Sarimah for taking good care of me during the entire trip! The amount of walking around, browsing, shopping and food we had was great! Would love to travel often!

Finally..

Gena Ng — Fri, 26 Aug 2011 19:26:53 +0000

Exams are finally over, and this marks the end of studying in RP. I have not graduate though, only made that statement because I will be having internship during the second semester.

I’m glad that this is finally coming to an end.. Just clearing up my PD, finish my report for FYP, complete internship (by 23 December) I’ll be a free bird! I can’t wait to do things that I want, I can’t wait for a new beginning.. I know my future is rather hazy; no clear paths etc. but I’m glad that I am given the chance to work towards my dream.

After so many years of waiting, I’m definitely going to do something that brings me there! And I believe it’ll be challenging, but well.. I’ll gain experience this way right?

You probably won’t believe it, but I guess I’ve never smiled while walking out of the examination venue.. I did it this week, for both my UTs. It felt really good to be prepared, to feel that efforts were paid off.. It’s really awesome! I had a tiff with Dad about studying overnight and all.. I think I’m really worried that I won’t be able to graduate, and have to retain another semester. I know he cares a lot for me, but sometimes I really need to be responsible for my actions (not studying and revising frequently). I hope he’s not too affected by it, and most importantly, I hope he’s fine..

It’s good to be positive and optimistic! May I stay this way..

Chopin’s Nocturne Op.9 No. 2

Gena Ng — Mon, 08 Aug 2011 17:37:43 +0000

Not feeling really good and this explains how I feel I guess..

Kind commuters

Gena Ng — Wed, 27 Jul 2011 02:11:44 +0000

I have a bacteria infection on my throat which causes me to have a very bad cough and sore throat and probably a very sounding voice for the last 2 weeks. So, I was taking a train from Boon Lay to Pasir Ris on Saturday for a BBQ at a friend’s birthday party, and was coughing badly in the train. There was this middle age lady who then approached to offer me lozenges so that I will at least feel better and cough lesser during the journey.

This little kind act really made me happy that there’s kind souls around.

When money becomes an issue..

Gena Ng — Thu, 21 Jul 2011 02:49:34 +0000

Went to rehearsal yesterday and we were preparing ‘Evergreen 70s’ for our upcoming performance at the Istana. Well, this piece include songs like ‘How deep is your love’, ‘Killing me softly with his song’ and ‘Dancing Queen’. It’s really awesome, and it brings back super good memories! Although I don’t know all of them, but it felt good to be playing it, really fun and great arrangement.

I had a good chat with some of the musicians last night about music, about what I want to do in the future, they shared their stories, their friends’ stories.. It was awesome (:

It makes me think more and make proper plans for myself, but it also brings more worries for myself.

I have 0 experience playing in an orchestra, I have no proper foundation as musician, as a clarinetist and I have no teacher in the clarinet. How can I possibly get a degree for clarinet performance? It is impossible.

As much as I want to, it is so limited for me..

I wish I am rich enough to at least get a teacher, I hope I can get someone who is able to guide me. Really hate it when I’m stopped by money issues. Geez..

I conduct(ed).

Gena Ng — Mon, 18 Jul 2011 18:57:08 +0000

I had a blast with Republic Polytechnic Wind Symphony last Friday, 15 July where I get to conduct ‘Flight: Adventure in the Sky’ by Benjamin Yeo, a local composer. This concert is the last concert that I serve as the Concert Mistress of the band, and Flight is probably the last piece that I conduct for RPWS . I must say, it hasn’t been easy picking up conducting and expected to deliver accordingly.

Mixed feelings and emotions I am having, because I really do not wish to stop conducting just like that. I want to go further, I want to know more and experience more. I couldn’t seem to let go, it is just difficult. It felt great conducting, more than anything, my friends were under my baton, they delivered what I asked for. I’m really thankful and more than happy to have them with me. But part of me cannot wait to let go, because I want to know what lies ahead, and what should I do to make it happen, to fulfill my childhood dream..

I will be lying if I say that there weren’t moments that I wanted to give up being a concert mistress, and also conducting for these two years. But above everything else, passion has stopped me from doing so. I just can’t imagine not conducting, not working towards a goal as the concert mistress, or to give up just like this.

But it is of great thanks to all my supportive friends, who were always there for me, ready for me to rant to, listening and helping as much as they could, my conductor, Mr Yusri, who never fails to advice me on what I should do, and to guide me in conducting, giving me more opportunities than he has ever given to anyone, Dr Robert J. Ambrose, for his encouragements, sharing of his knowledge to me and improved my conducting in just a short period of time! Christine, who had run the concert and made everything possible! It is my pleasure to have all these people around me that I made my mark last Friday.

Like what one of my friends told me “An ending is yet another beginning..” It inspires me a lot. Together with what my teachers and mentors have taught me. I may or may not have the chance to conduct in near future.. But I will definitely work towards what I want to achieve, and make every impossible thing, POSSIBLE.

Dreams come true

Gena Ng — Wed, 25 May 2011 07:11:21 +0000

When I was young, I dream that one day I will be performing Third Symphony, dream about being under the baton of Satoshi Yagisawa, dream about conducting. I have it all now. Who says dreams don’t come true?

Working towards your dream is a huge process to make it come true. I realized that whatever I wish when I was younger, I’m living it now. However, I need to understand that I work and start from stretch to work this out and put it together.

Dreams come true only when you decide to work towards it.

Go on, DREAM and make it happen

RJ : How do you think our lives would be better off without money?

Gena Ng — Tue, 24 May 2011 18:55:45 +0000

I feel that money has been playing a big part of our lives. A very good example is how we use money to pay for food. The relationship of the money is to show the value of certain items and as the more expensive the thing cost, the more value it has in it.

Money affects many of our decision in life, for example, our career path is being affected by money, our education requires money to ensure that we get what we want, our daily needs and of course our wish list.

However, I also see money that caused plenty of disagreements among friends and family, and caused disharmony between people. A good example that came to be recently would be my parents. They are currently not staying together, not on good and talking terms, and refuse to meet one another, all because of one word, MONEY. Money indeed changes how a person acts, and long term allows the person to lose their initial thought or approach. I was dumbfounded by my mother’s action.

She not only blames me for attending school and going for meetings for my Final Year Project (FYP) this year, she compared me with her friends’ children who has already started working and is earning an income for the family. Let us look at this situation now, my mother puts earning a living on top of my list of studying. Is that being a responsible mother? I doubt so.

As for my father, he is more concerned about me catching up in school, than having me to provide for the family. He not only gave me encouragement, he also motivates me and makes me want to work even harder to make him proud.

I think that was what money does to me. I begin to see the true sides of many people after handling with money, and I also was able to find out who truly cares about me and my future.

Though I have to agree that we are too reliant on money, I feel that there should be a control of how it is like. If we are not able to feel satisfaction of having family members and close friends around, it will just be an empty world. So what if I have all the money in the world, but I end up with no friends and relatives?

I rather do it the other way round. I prefer friends over fame. I feel that I will do a better job and experience what exactly Life is all about if I were to do without money, because I will be able to see things clearly and I feel that I will lead a happier and more meaningful life.

Come on, leave a comment and tell me how you feel about it. (:

Busy beeeeeee

Gena Ng — Thu, 19 May 2011 07:03:28 +0000

Oh well, here’s a quick update!

Having to manage studies, FYP (if I’m in that is), bands is really taxing but it’s a great experience to me. I would definitely prefer to be busy bee than be too free because I don’t want to waste any time of my life. I’m rather looking forward to performing for Closing Ceremony, 6th Band Convention this June. Because I’m excited to meet the rest of the musicians from the other universities!

And yes! The new repertoire for RPWS’s upcoming concert in 15 July is confirmed! Please look out for the exciting repertoire alright? Because there’s a guest conductor and its the first concert that our year ones are joining us! A concert filled with new experiences..

Oh ya, recently, I have been playing for Orchid Park Alumni Winds and it has been a great experience making friends all around! Definitely learned a lot during our rehearsal, and great difference playing in the bands I’m currently in.

Before I forget, I had a great experience and fun time playing with the clarinet ensemble (consisting of Chee Weng, Nisa, Christine and myself) during the graduation performance. It is not an easy repertoire and we only had little time to rehearse due to the difference in our time schedule etc. I haven’t really thank them yet, but I will definitely be doing it. Great friends I have! I learnt a lot in the process.. and also during the performance! Will love to do it again and keep the group going.

The only regret that I have is I NEVER TAKE ANY PICTURES WITH THESE AWESOME PEOPLE! Must put it in archive! Anyway, I’m waiting for the crews to send me the recordings

Alright, that’ll be all for now! I need to learn to update more of this.